Frequently asked questions
Honest answers about a deeply unserious service.
Is this a real dating service?
No. DatingCenters is a parody site built for laughs (and for Danny). No actual matchmaking occurs, no matter how strong the signal.
What is a data center's love language?
The five are well documented: redundant power feeds, acts of cooling, quality time measured in microseconds, dedicated cross-connects, and single-tenancy. Words of affirmation are accepted in the form of green dashboards.
What does 99.99% of couples staying connected mean?
It means we rounded up from a sample size of one extremely committed UPS battery string. Statistics on this site are certified pre-owned.
Why is there a human named Danny on a data center dating site?
Every data center has a human keeping the lights on. Danny is a business partner of the folks who built this site, and frankly the most eligible profile here. This whole thing is essentially a very expensive compliment.
What is the SLA on love?
Our love SLA guarantees four nines of devotion (99.99%), excluding scheduled maintenance windows such as Valentine's Day restaurant wait times. Credits are issued in the form of extra dessert.
I am a workload, not a facility. Can I still join?
Absolutely. Workloads are the ones doing the seeking around here. Just be upfront about your burst patterns; nobody likes a surprise traffic spike on the second date.
What is your refund policy?
The site is free, the jokes are free, and the emotional availability of Tier III facilities is priceless. There is nothing to refund, which our accountants describe as 'structurally sound'.
Who do I contact about a billing question?
There is no billing. If you received an invoice from a data center you met here, that is between you, them, and your capacity planner.